Saturday, 25 February 2017

Mummy special edition



1

My Mother Taught Me Osmosis: “Shut Your Mouth And Eat Your Supper!

2

My Mother Taught Me Contortionism: “Will You Look At The Dirt On The Back Of Your Neck!


3

My Mother Taught Me About Stamina: “You’ll Sit There ‘till All That Spinach Is Finished.

4

My Mother Taught Me About The Weather: “It Looks As If A Tornado Swept Through Your Room.



5

My Mother Taught Me How To Solve Physics Problems: “If I Yelled Because I Saw A Meteor Coming Toward You; You Would Listen Then?

6

My Mother Taught Me About Hypocrisy: “If I’ve Told You Once, I’ve Told You A Million Times – Don’t Exaggerate!

7

My Mother Taught Me About The Circle Of Life: “I Brought You Into This World And I Can Take You Out.

8

My Mother Taught Me About Behavior Modification: “Stop Acting Like Your Father!



9

My Mother Taught Me About Envy: “There Are Millions Of Less Fortunate Children In This World Who Don’t Have Wonderful Parents Like You Do


10

My Mother Taught Me Time Travel: “If You Don’t Straighten Up, I’m Going To Knock You Into The Middle Of Next Week!

11

My Mother Taught Me Logic: “Because I Said So, That’s Why.

12

My Mother Taught Me Foresight: “Make Sure You Wear Clean Underwear, In Case You’re In An Accident.



13

My Mother Taught Me Irony: “Keep Crying And I’ll ‘give’ You Something To Cry About.

14

What My Mother Taught Me
My Mother Taught Me To Appreciate A Job Well Done: “If You’re Going To Kill Each Other, Do It Outside, I Just Finished Cleaning!

15

My Mother Taught Me Religion: “You Better Pray That Will Come Out Of The Carpet.


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